Tuesday 6 April 2010

Culinary Fiasco

If there is one thing I am proud of, it is my skills in the kitchen. It is amazing how I use the freshest of perishables and the most aromatic of spices and condiments and still manage to whip up something so extraordinary that neither my husband nor the neighbour's cat seem to appreciate! I would like to label them ungrateful but on second thought, I think it may have something to do with the frequent visits to the 'rest'room and the garden by the husband and the cat respectively. I could simply ask my husband the reason for lack of appreciation for my efforts but I do not want to lose my guinea pigs. You see, I am at an experimental phase and I aim to strive on until one of the two openly revolts. Not that I see it happening as my husband is tongue-tied in my presence, not because of my heavenly beauty (ahem!!) but because of my pleasant sumo wrestler kind of personality, and the cat keeps coming back for more and it helps that she cannot talk and so I assume my cooking skills are not a cause for concern. Yet.

It all started this Holi, with a statement of my dear father-in-law. Now, I have to drive home a point here. The daughter-in-law's worth/competence is decided by the range of dishes she can cook (or claims to cook) in most houses. Holi is a festival for which my mother-in-law prepares around 573 sweets and savories. I might be a bit off on the ballpark number there but I guess that is what prompted my father-in-law to ask me, sweetly, if I knew how to prepare certain dishes that are a must on Holi. That should have been my cue to change the subject and talk about 'Pandits' and 'Prayers' but I guess the cat caught my tongue! Or maybe it was my ego bursting with a loud bang that startled me! But I recollected my composure and like a dutiful daughter-in-law I did the only thing I could do then. Lie! By the end of our conversation he must have believed that I cook Indian food for the Queen of England and he must have put me right at the top of his list of best cooks, just below his wife.

The great lie has spurred me to action and I am now trying out different recipes (courtesy YouTube) and feeding them to my very own, albeit reluctant, guinea pigs (;-)). I agree my rasagulla's could be used as professional golf balls, my jalebis could be passed of as tapeworm, my baturas could be used as frisbee... (Oh! Flash! Boing! Flash! that's why the playful cat keeps coming back!) but I think I am getting the hang of cooking. Maybe, no, definitely, I'll surprise (may not be pleasantly) my father-in-law with my brand of cooking next Holi.

I must say, my poor ego, that went 'pop' is repaired and filling up on hot air. Before the next visit to in-laws place it plans on having enough reserve and not be caught unawares again!

So, wish me luck that I may conquer the world of cooking and make my father-in-law proud or maybe I should just try and stay in my mother-in-law's good books. She holds the title of the best cook in the family and she may not take kindly to me if I grab it. On second thought, maybe I should just concentrate on keeping my guinea pigs alive.

Saturday 27 March 2010

Weighty thoughts!

Feels like I am sitting on a thousand pounds... Money? I wish! but no, it is my ever expanding rear. It seems it was just yesterday that I was this pretty (ahem!!!, almost true), petite (definitely true) lass and today I am a big lump of shapeless dough. Well, not really
shapeless but I do look a little like the miniature, darker version of the pigs in UK walking on their hind legs! You may think I am exaggerating but there are some people urging me to belive that a hippo would be a closer, much better example for comparison. I like to think it is because of my colour...

Given my situation it is natural that I should get showered by advice by people who are experts in this matter. My husband for one. He has been trying very diligently to help me. Apart from pointing out to me that all furniture in the house is still standing, he makes sure that I am on a balanced diet of well-meaning fat people jokes, hope of joyful separation on the grounds of obesity and reminders of how glad his mother was to see me with a few extra pounds during the last visit! God bless him for motivating me but what bothers me more than my extra pounds is this - He seems to be losing weight just by trying to get me to lose some (and then some more). But I have asked people around and they seem to think that he is as "healthy" as ever and I am satisfied, for the moment.

My kid sister is a volcano of advices. She spews out ideas like hot lava. What you have to know here is that she thinks like the chihuahua carried around by Paris Hilton, or was it some other hot socialite? Who cares? Anyway the point is, her ideas are fashion oriented, high society, celebrity kind of routines where you eat two almonds for breakfast, two lettuce leaves for lunch and one raisin for dinner and drive 70 miles in an AC car for a jog down the mountain trail complete with shades and IPod. As mouth-watering as this idea is, I chose to ignore it because one raisin is too heavy a dinner for me!

Another source is my Mother-in-law. Hers is a package deal that includes tested and tried methods of lightening skin colour, improving body posture and weight loss programs complete with success stories (of her). Also, friends and well-wishers pitch in with their two bits every now and then. You may think with so many people on my case, my problems are as good as solved.

Yes, that is what I would like to believe too. I am keeping my fingers crossed and my brains untangled to receive more weighty inputs. Phew!!! I have been meaning to write this for so long, now with this off my mind, I already feel like I have lost some weight! Should think of writing more...

Friday 12 February 2010

Prisoner of thought

He lay there in the cocoon
Watching shapes shift by
He knew not where he was
Nor could he fathom why
Was he there for a reason
Or was it just a ruse
That made him a prisoner
of something almost like a muse

Silvery cover seemed so real
Yet felt unreal, even ethereal
Will bent like rubber in the mist
Twisted, controlled like never before
Can this be true? This strength
Of a seemingly fragile shell
Scared and enthused like a new explorer
He pondered possibilities, a conqueror

Could this be the end of him
Chains of bondage crushing him
Or liberation awaiting beyond
Bidding him, break free, look beyond
The moment of truth, so simple
Choice, the line between life and death
Choose to live, was his interpretation
Cocoon melted to his disbelieving elation

He was free again, he knew
To embrace this life anew
Every thought a prison, a system
Destiny beckons beyond it's reason
Walk out free, head held high
Breathe in the air, Let out a sigh
Life... a journey of many thoughts
Live each one and then let go...